set fire to the moonlight

Government is nothing more than a bunch of egotistical lying fucks who feel powerful by releasing laws that shrink our human rights and make us afraid of the world outside our boundaries.

Tell us they do these things so we can feel safe when really we are imprisoned; dare not question for fear of prosecution and humiliation. The lies they tell us, the people they kill, all in the name of our safety! The wars they wage, the resources they force us to rely on all for money and greed! Status and more power! Questioning, demanding, fighting, these are things we in a republic are allowed to do!

Use your power as a voting citizen, as a free human, and run the system the way it’s intended to run, the way we want it run, not the way some guy in a $3,000 suit with free health care wants it run; a million dollar house with a $90,000 car! He doesn’t know what we, the middle-class, need. We know what we need! We know what would make our lives better! Our lives easier! More fulfilling! We shouldn’t have to make the decision whether to work or get an education! To find a second or third job just to keep a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs and clothes on our back! That isn’t living, that’s economic slavery! We are not free, we are not prosperous! We are slaves! Mindless drones with the power to vote but afraid to use that power! We listen to the lies, we do what is told of us so we feel safe, so our children can feel safe!

I was forced into this world just like everyone else but I will damn sure not live in this world according to some lobbyist, some tool of a politician with a major corporation feeding his pockets to get their work done!

How to not be a whore.

Hello ladies, in today’s lesson I will teach YOU how to not be a whore!

Scenario 1: You see a dick, what do you do?

Now! Before you answer “SUCK ON IT!” or “SHOVE IT IN MY ASS!”, let’s go over a very basic rule that’s easy to remember. Look at the dick, is it familiar? No? Look at the body said dick is attached to, is it your boyfriends? No? Then maybe your answers are definitely wrong.

Many of you may be wondering, “But Mr. Kiff, I don’t have a boyfriend, does this mean I can suck and fuck all the dick I want?” And my answer to you is: No, you stupid whore.

Scenario 2: I’m a female who respects myself but likes to have fun around the holidays, mainly Halloween and dressing up. Is this harmful to my image? Will I be called a whore?

Find a mirror.
Are you at one?
Look at yourself.
Are you dressed as a slutty nurse? A female Tarzan? Some sort of perverted version of a female Spartan from 300? Then yes, you will more than likely be called a whore.

See below for a list of more costumes considered to be whore-ish.
School Teacher
School Girl
Nun
Arabian Princess
Genie
Elf
Cat Woman
Bat Girl
Super Girl
Cheerleader
Female football player (i dunno either man)
French Maid
Any Harry Potter Character
Princess Leia Slave Costume This is allowed.
A jockey (yes, like the horse racers.. it’s true)
Disco Girl
Beer Bottle
Waitress
Burlesque Dancer
Cop
Bo Peep
Eve from the Bible
Playboy Bunny
Vampire
Any cartoon character
Referee
Army Girl
Navy Girl
Britney Spears from the video Baby One More Time
Lindsay Lohan from anything
Some sort of Sexy Gangster and Inmate
Bondage Girl
Oktoberfest Girl
Dominatrix
Devil
Little Red Riding Hood (I smell a bestiality story here)
Geisha
Girl Scout
Any Disney character
Belly Dancer
Egyptian
Pirate
Santa Claus
Cupcake (hey, guys like cupcakes)

Scenario 3: You’re at a party with your boyfriend and after a few drinks you notice him flirting with another female. Do you?
A. Slap the shit out of him
B. Fuck the first guy closest to you and every guy toward the door then leave?
C. Slap the shit out of him
D. Drag them both into the bedroom and have a three-some.

Now, if you answered B, or D, you are a whore. The correct answer was A, although I also would have accepted C.

A new and purposeful game show;

I’m tired of all these stupid fucking game shows of people winning a shit ton of money by answering questions, eating food that’s a delicacy in many countries, or showing off their retarded “skills” of horrific singing, seizure themed dancing or bending themselves like Gumby. I don’t care how many plates you can spin on your face, you don’t deserve $500,000 for doing so.

So here’s a new game show idea, it’s called “The Great Feast.” Major corporations race to see who can pump the most organic food into starving countries, who can supply the most food to starving people. It will take place over a years time with no stupid summer breaks and fall returns, one full year. The prize? Proving your worth as a multi-billion dollar corporation who isn’t out just to give CEO’s their own wage increases to pay off their third mansion or buy another Tesla car. You’d gain the respect of the people, and for your own gain? Free advertisement.

The rules are the food must be organic and locally grown, buying from the small time farmers and giving clean, hormone/pesticide free food to people who need it the most. For every 25 pounds of food, 5 pounds of seed must be shipped along with it. The competition will take place over a year but must produce enough food to last long enough for the children to not die on a nightly basis and hopefully help people gain the strength and willpower to begin farming.

Each season of this show will take place in a different country, until world hunger is no longer an issue. I’m willing to give this idea to any network that wants to pick it up. Don’t be a douchebag, this could be epic.

An open letter to Bioware.

Hi Bioware, big fan.
I’d like to personally blame you in advance, before the release of your masterpiece known as Star Wars: The Old Republic, and hold you responsible for ruining my work life, my little social life, education, and my love life. With this release, I shall unwillingly bid farewell to the days, any track of time, the sun, the moon, and all things real and natural in this beautiful world we live in that will be replaced with the light from my moniter, the electric hum of my tower, and the chilly air from my box fan keeping my ever growing fat pasty body cooled off.

With that said, ToR is shaping up to be the most epic and perfect Star Wars and MMO in the history of gaming and for that I truly thank you for knowing exactly what us Star Wars fans want in a game. And of course, thank you to LucasArts for ignoring Galaxies existence and allowing a true Star Wars MMO to come to life.
                                                               
                                                    ~Love, Matt.